Princess Alethea’s Sharktopus Review

I had some of the most fun I’d had in a long time last night. It was a veritable MST3K SharktopusCon on Twitter. Up-to-the-minute popcorn passing up and down the Eastern seaboard as we all tried to outdo each other’s cleverness and summarily died in fits of giggles. My favorite part might have been when Sharktopus himself replied to one of my tweets. Because of course the sharktopus should be Live Tweeting…why not?

Eddie told me he was looking forward to my review….but how could I reminisce about something that’s so once-in-a-lifetime? And, for that matter, something I’ve already Twittered about? The answer is simple. Here, for your reading amusement, are my Tweets From Last Night. (If I had time I’d splice Joe’s in too, but my stomach still hurts from all the laughing and I do need to actually pretend to be social today.)

The premise of SHARKTOPUS, if you couldn’t guess, is that the Navy gene-spliced together this killing machine (a team led by Eric Roberts and a daughter he calls “Pumpkin”). The navy loses control, Sharktopus goes on a killing spree, and both bad acting and horrible special effects awards ensue.

Thank you to everyone who was tagging #sharktopus last night. I’d watch a cheesy movie with you guys any day of the week.

(times are approximate)
9:00pm — Hellooooo, sharktopus!
9:05 — No actual sharktopi were harmed in the making of this movie.
9:07 — LoL! RT @tomokato: Underwater Sombrero would be a great band name.
9:13 — What accent is Pumpkin trying to play, exactly? (She was trying to be British and failing worse than Kevin Costner in Robin Hood.)
9:17 — A magnificent bird is the pelican…
9:21 — This MOVIE is armed and dangerous.
9:27 — I really hope that chick was paid per giggle.
9:31 — Damn! I was tweeting when she took her hair down and glasses off. That was quick.
9:35 — Burning question: are Stacy’s boobs as real as her eyelashes?
9:40 — You’ve got legs. Go get your own dinner.
9:43 — Punch bug WHITE!
9:50 — Remembering high school biology… So does #sharktopus have two mouths and no… EW!
10:00 — #sharktopus is a ninja AND a pirate.
10:05 — Now where did I put those boat keys?
10:10 — Am disappointed that Pez’s head did not pop backwards.
10:13 — “Delivery for a Mister…Sharktopoulous?”
10:17 — For Sale: Gently used jet ski.
10:22 — “Don’t let his death mean nothing.” Like everyone else’s…
10:25 — …and now #sharktopus has pirate radio equipment. Score!
10:27 — Santos was a virgin?
10:30 — I think #sharktopus needs a laptop.
10:31 — RT: List of things that does not stop #sharktopus 1) automatic weapons. 2) yelling NOOOO! (even if you have abs)
10:32 — Huh-uh. The choreographer is SO fired.
10:37 — My stomach hurts. I’m still laughing about the horrible dancing. *snarf*
10:38 — RT: Guess what, dude: yes, it CAN hide. It lives in the ocean. And the ocean is BIG. Like really REALLY big. Also, you’re an idiot.
10:45 — That Man has never shot a gun in his LIFE. Hahahahahha
10:46 — #sharktopus has been taking human anatomy lessons. Well done!
10:49 — I am still unsure as to #sharktopus ‘s motivation.
10:50 — We’re going to need a bigger…river?
10:51 — RT@sharktopus2010: @AletheaKontis My only motivation was to kill all the people who were trying to frame me as a killing machine. #CHOMP #TeamSharktopus
10:52 — LOL #sharktopus just answered my tweet. Best. Movie. Ever.
10:54 — But will #sharktopus find love? And have babies?
10:55 — Pumpkin is still talking and not wearing a bikini. WHY?!?!
10:56 — Because there are so many OTHER kids in the river yelling “Mooooom!”
10:57 — No shirt = BUSINESS.
10:58 — Dude the password is pumpkin.
11:00 — Aaaaaand I’m spent.