Brownie Points

In Scottish folklore, brownies are hobgobliny imps that will do housework for you (and things like keep your milk from turning sour) if you treat them well and leave them proper tributes like bowls of porridge and honey. In America, Brownies wear chocolate miniskirts and beanies and sashes with nifty patches sewn on them by overwrought mothers. They go door to door with their little red wagons (or, at least, they used to before they set up a folding table in front of the Wal-Mart) and hock their cookies (they used to be called Peanut Butter Patties) and go to a camp (where they did not practice archery or learn how to make fires or rockets or model airplanes, because that is what BOY Scouts do). Easy or not, these little brown ducklings yearn to one day be green.

I never made it that far. And green is my favorite color.

Due to a series of unfortunate events at Summer Camp — which my mother never forced me to return to and we shall never speak of again — I quit Brownies after one fateful year (just long enough for Della to catch lice from trying on my beanie, apparently). It’s a shame — I was at an age when I really could have used a place to belong. Honestly, had Girl Scouts been a little more like Boy Scouts, I think I would have fit in a lot better. I’ve heard a lot of things have changed in the last…um…27 years (holy CRAP I’m old). For instance, Girl Scouts now have TALENT SHOWS. And the local troops here in PA have graciously asked me to be their MC. I said yes, of course. I sort of feel like I owe them.

The talent show is tonight at the Red Lion Junior High School, 200 Country Club Road, Red Lion, PA 17356-8637, 6:30 p.m.  Cost is $5.00, and all proceeds are being donated to the Family Partnership Campaign for Red Lion troops (aids in Girl Programming, Camp upkeep, etc).  EVERYONE is welcome to attend.

Performing will be: Troops 20443 and 20508 from St. John’s UCC in Red Lion, Troop 21027 from Bethany UMC in Red Lion, Troop 20692 from Bethany UMC in Red Lion (with special accompaniment on the drums by a troop dad),  Troop 20491 from Zion UMC in Red Lion, and Troop 20692 from Bethany UMC in Red Lion.

There will also be a silent basket auction…and you know those baskets are always full of some really cool stuff.

If you’re in the area, please join us!

(…and so help me god, if there are no Tagalongs, I may just walk right out. Again.)