I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.Not surprising — it’s my normal reaction to having my sleep schedule thrown off. The last time this happened was New Year’s Day.
It was worth every moment then, too.
Like many events in my life, I didn’t know how much I needed that Foo Fighters concert until I was there in the middle of it, jumping and dancing and singing and screaming my head off. I’ve always been a huge fan — of Dave Grohl in particular — and there have been concerts in the past, but something (usually personal garbage) has always conspired to keep me from them. Which is a shame.
‘Cause damn it was a good concert.
It was almost like Dave had picked the setlist just for me — they played all the songs I needed to hear and none of the ones I didn’t. Not because I don’t like any of them, but right now the crust on the surface of my emotional lava is just a thin black glass and one tiny cold tear might shatter it.
Last night was a night for tempering.
And the words spoke to me.
“Did you ever think of me? Oh, so considerate…”
“The page is out of print, we are not permanent, we’re temporary, temporary, same old story…”
“I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right, I’m the enemy…”
“Hook me up a new revolution, ’cause this one is a lie…”
“One more for hire, a wonderful liar, I think it’s time we should all come clean…”
“Truth or consequence, say it aloud…”
“Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red, out of her head she sang…”
“Done, done and I’m on to the next one…”
There is a reason we as humans don’t remember pain — it’s a survival instinct. If we were able to relive it, it would keep us from ever moving forward. We can’t remember pain, but we remember the effect it has on our lives. And those of us who do move forward, who turn our backs on the horrible things, who put on a brave face and smile into the wind, who rise above vindictiveness on golden wings, who–despite the suffering–continue to love unconditionally and try to leave the world a better place than we came into it, we are the strong ones. We are the mighty.
This world will always be full of liars and thieves, of cheaters and betrayers, of abusers and emotional vampires, of selfish people who will use you and ignore you and neglect you and take you for granted. Look in the mirror — some days, that person is us. We have to recognize it in ourselves before we can truly see it in others.
But last night…we were the mighty.
I’ve always wondered how Dave Grohl ever performed “Monkey Wrench” live — where would he take a breath on that famous bridge? The version on the CD is flawless and no doubt digitally enhanced. Is he just THAT talented? I would certainly believe it. The man is a god.
I got my answer last night. I almost didn’t think I would…when the last song before the encore went into the guitar solo and the drum solo, I wondered if maybe he’d just skip the bridge altogether. I wouldn’t have been surprised, really. It’s a tough one. But right when I thought the song was over, he didn’t disappoint me.
Dave took four breaths.
I took one.
And in that perfect moment, I was free.
“One last thing before I quit
I never wanted any more
Than I could fit into my head
I still remember every single word you said
And all the shit
That somehow came along with it
Still, there’s one thing that comforts me
Since I was always caged
And now I’m FREE…”