Predators: A Brief Review

Thanks to the tragic reviews of Last Airbender I’ve been seeing from my friends on Twitter, the last movie I saw in theatres was Ironman 2 on Mother’s Day. Can you believe that? Me neither. Which was my sole justification to go see Predators last night.

At first, after a ridiculous amount of commercials and trailers for both some George Clooney Movie and Step Up 3D, we thought we were in the wrong auditorium. When the trailer for Machete finally came on, we felt better. (And I’m totally going to go see that.)

So yeah. Predators. Not a lot to say, really. Action? Yup. Quotable lines? Not so much. (I wonder if Robert had cool lines and Hollywood peed all over it, or if it just needed a couple more rewrites.) Amusingly, the film started out a bit like Lost, with everyone wondering why they were wherever they were. One guy suggests they might be dead, and I guffawed. I guess nobody else got the joke. Perhaps if their first encounter had been a polar bear…

If you’re looking to burn a couple of hours in a cool theatre on a 95 degree day, there are worse ways to spend your time (Last Airbender and Eclipse come to mind). But you’ll probably just walk out thinking you could have just as easily popped some corn in the microwave and sat on the couch for a 1 & 2 double feature. Or El Mariachi and Desperado. (Which I still want to do, but I only have them on laserdisc. Yes, I’m that kind of geek.)

Oh — and if you go to a Regal, do NOT order the Cafe Mocha. Four dollars for only half a small cup full of absolute swill. I get better coffee at the 7-11. Which I might just do right now.

Stay cool, everybody. xox