Funky Werepig Slumber Party Rebroadcast

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone in the US!

In honor of these last few days of HERO being TMV Cafe’s BOOK OF THE MONTH, The Funky Werepig is rebroadcasting our infamous Princess Alethea Slumber Party Interview tomorrow night at 9pm!

Set your watch/phone/timer/TARDIS…and if you missed it the first time, be sure to tune in! (CLICK HERE TO BOOKMARK THE LINK)

It was a BLAST. With cookie-brownies and everything.

Much love to you all!


The Three Amigos

No Comments | Tags: , , , ,

TMV Cafe Book of the Month

Enchanted is the TMV Cafe’s Book of the Month!

My thanks to the ever-sexy Funky Werepig for nominating it! xox



No Comments | Tags: , , ,

From the Garage

Facebook is a funny thing. Greg Hall (yes, that Funky Werepig we all know and love) posted this morning that he has 500 friends, and intended to celebrate by buying them all breakfast. Kelli and I were sitting on the green couch in the garage at the time, dutifully hammering away at our keyboards. We know Greg, and we know he lives like ten minutes from the Porch O’Awesomeness (which has, since the blizzard, graduated into the Garage O’Awesomeness), and we were hungry, so we told him so.

Just like that, we had a werepig in the garage bearing sausage croissants and tater tots. It was cold and cloudy and rainy outside those doors and neither Kelli nor I had woken up this morning feeling any kind of spectacular, but we laughed  in this garage like none of us had laughed since…oh…Mo*Con, anyway. There were Tweets and acronyms and interpretive dance and protective boyfriends and princes on mountaintops and death threats against evil banks…and the kids were home and Greg was walking back to his car all too soon.

What started out as a crummy day ended up as a really, really good day, and we have a chivalrous werepig to thank for it.
And, I suppose, Facebook.
Darn social networking sites making people all…social. What’s up with that?

No Comments | Tags: , , ,

“Dracula’s Winkie” Live Performance from Mo*Con V

Yes, yes…I’m still cleaning up & captioning pictures and thinking about how to sum up my thoughts into a post-Mo*Con post. In the meantime, to tide you over, here is a recording of our now-infamous live reading of Greg “Funky Werepig” Hall’s “Dracula’s Winkie.” (Performers: Alethea Kontis, Greg Hall, R. Scott McCoy)

If you still find yourself with free time on your hands (or you just hate Monday THAT MUCH), hop on over to The Funky Werepig site and have a listen to the “Live from Mo*Con” broadcast. Some great folks, some great interviews, and a lot of laughs.

No Comments | Tags: , , ,

Red Candy Sale

If you haven’t gotten your fill of Valentine’s Day candy on sale yet, well, that’s nobody’s fault but your own. Lucky for you, Easter’s just around the corner, with a significantly smaller proportion of Red Dye Number Five.

I had a lovely Valentine’s Day, thank you, in no small part because of my father. I don’t remember when the tradition started, but I remember waking up for school on Valentine’s Day and coming downstairs to find a silly little present on the island in the kitchen. It might have been a flower or a card or a bag of candy or a teddy bear stuffed into a coffee mug with a bag full of candy AND a card (with a flower on it), but there was always something and it was always from my daddy.

The best part is that this tradition has continued beyond our formative years into the time when we can tell the world how much we appreciate this small, silly, not-so-insignificant thing. Last year, Dad sent all his girls (there are three of us, plus my mom) a  big heart (pictured here) and an original poem for each one of us. This year was a bit of a blast from the past — a little panda teddy bear in a giant red coffee mug with sweet kissy expressions all over it. (Which means IN NO WAY can anyone mistake this one for theirs!) There was a poem enclosed this year too:

Her direction?

Keeps you guessin’

Where she’ll stay?

She finds a way.

What she’ll do?

Surprises you.

Thinks she’s beat?

Lands on her feet.

Amazing, huh?


Yes, folks, my father actually took the time to find a rhyme for my name. And if that’s not real love I don’t know what is. For me, Valentine’s Day is far more than just a cheesy Hallmark-created luvfest. For me, Valentine’s Day is Father’s Day.

Coincidentally, where last year’s Valentine’s Day had me on the front page of the Living Well section of the Murfreesboro paper and leading a teen-oriented paranormal romance discussion at the Bleeding Hearts Club, This year’s Valentine’s Day culminated in a FANTASTIC (and exceptionally long) interview with Greg Hall of The Funky Werepig. We had a lovely date, laughed a lot, covered an AMAZING amount of ground (yes, we probably talked about you), and sang.

That’s right, Greg made me sing. And it’s here for all time on the internet, if you want to have a listen. Turn it on and clean out that junk drawer you’ve been meaning to tackle — the interview clocks in at about 2 hours (including the 30-minute afterparty), so it is not for the faint of heart (or the exceptionally busy). And while the Werepig is usually For Mature Audiences Only, I’d rate our date at about a PG-13. As always, listen at your discretion.

In the meantime, I’m going to go make myself some smiley, kissy-face red coffee. Love you, Dad. xox

1 Comment | Tags: , , , , ,

My Funky Werepig Valentine

Your official invitation to magic, madness & mayhem!

When: February 14th, 9:00 pm EST – until

Where: The Funky Werepig on Blog Talk Radio!

What: Tune in as Greg Hall (a.k.a. The Funky Werepig) interviews his Valentine, bestselling author Alethea Kontis (a.k.a. The Princess) live on Blog Talk Radio! Listen to the interview…and then call in for the afterparty! (As always, if you can’t be there live, you can listen later on the website archives.)(As always, if you can’t be there live, you can listen later on the website archives.)

Official Facebook Event Page: Click here to RSVP.

Attire: No pants.

No Comments | Tags: , , , , ,

What It Takes

It all started with an innocent Tweet, as many things this day and age do.

After a long, magical weekend at Horrorfind, a group of us retired back to Kelli & Bob’s house. The weather was beautiful. Worn out as we were, we decided to just sprawl all over the front porch. There were no theatrics or rip-roaring conversations; mostly we just huddled in silence not wanting the weekend to end. From where I sat, leaned up against the railing at the opposite end, I took a picture so that I would remember that moment forever. And I tweeted it.

And so Awesome Porch was born.

At first it was just an inside-joke, a beloved memory, an endearment between friends who already had pet names for each other: Dickie, Tomo, the gypsy, the hippie, the princess, Anubis, Qwee. And then it started being referenced by other people. Greg Hall mentioned it during his interview with Kelli for The Funky Werepig; he wanted to know how he could be a member and get his own nickname. We all laughed — it’s not like we all carry cards or have a dress code or secret handshake or anything…apart from the odd Anubis gang sign…and the stripey socks…

The joke has been made more than once that if Awesome Porch was a reality show, it’d be watched religiously. Not that we’re not already doing our best populating photo albums and creating Facebook Applications and adding each other into Twitter groups and writing each other into stories. It was the pizza place that clinched it, though. Kelli placed our order for delivery, and instead of saying, “Is that the house with all the Halloween decorations still up?” the guy asked Kelli, “Is that the house with the porch with all the awesome people on it all the time?”

It seems we’re now locally famous. How about that?

And then there are the people who end up tripping into a coveted spot on Awesome Porch, achieving a hug and a nickname and immediate entre into the core group.

Meet Chuck, a.k.a. Justin, a.k.a. JP. Kelli even called him Big Mac for a time, because he worked at McDonald’s, but to us it was just Justin. Justin who lives across the street, who has two younger siblings, who likes Buffy & Angel, and who has someone else’s kidney. Justin’s a good kid. We like Justin.

And then, one ill-fated Saturday night,  Justin threw up all over the bathroom. ALL over the bathroom. I’ll spare you the stories about the light fixture and the broken toilet seat. Needless to say, the hippie is a God.

The next day, when Justin walked back over to prove to us all that he was alive and well, he got quite the ribbing. I was in the living room, listening to the porch through the open front door as they decided what terrible teasing nickname we could give Justin that would torture him for the rest of his life.

“Chuck!” I yelled through the screen door. It was simple, really. Obvious. The porch laughed. And so Chuck was born.

Last weekend, Kelli bought a new toilet seat. As penance, Chuck had to install it. Click on the picture below to forward through the photographic montage.  We’ve still got the old one — I think we’re all going to autograph it and bestow it upon him at the next Awesome Porch gathering.

Toilet seat: $10.

Tossing your cookies until you’re passed out on the bathroom tile: all your pride & humility.

Getting a nickname on Awesome Porch: priceless.

Have you got what it takes to be a member of Awesome Porch?

1 Comment | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,