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Enchanted - by Alethea Kontis - available May 8, 2012. Pre-order now.
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Book Giveaway at The Qwillery

I love vlogs. I really need to do one someday. Until then, I will be content knowing that I’ve been name-dropped in one. Hooray!

The Qwillery is giving away a copy of Werewolves and Shape Shifters: Encounters with the Beasts Within. This brief vlog shows you the book, tells you a little bit about it, and mentions the contest (and me!)

For details on how to enter (and to comment on the blog post itself — that’s one way to enter and so far there are NO comments yet!) go click on over to The Qwillery site. I know you don’t have a money tree growing in your back yard. It would be silly not to try for a free copy of this gorgeous book.

So what are you waiting for? Scoot!

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The Answer Is, Was, and Always Will Be: “Yes.”

It was all the rage in high school: South Carolina Governor’s School for the Arts. As a junior or senior you could audition for their summer program in one discipline: visual art, ballet, drama, singing, writing…there may have been others, but two of those defined who I was. There was only one problem. I had to chose between them.

My junior year, I tried out for drama because Casey was trying out for drama. It was an easy in–after all, I’d already been a TV star. I got my monologues together and had them down pat. Mom and I spent countless hours trying to find the best piece for me to sing — Mom’s favorite was “I Enjoy Being a Girl” from Flower Drum Song, but I ended up settling on a section from Diana’s “Nothing” in A Chorus Line. I remember the looks on their faces when I opened my mouth and belted out that song: actual, literal, astonishment. Simon Cowell had that same look on his face when Susan Boyle opened her mouth.

I didn’t get in.

Casey got in. Even Julie Gottlieb, who could do no wrong, waltzed straight in to her audition in a baggy shirt and jeans and got in. But not me. We all got over our astonishment eventually. I spent the summer writing ridiculously long letters to Casey and sealing them with crayon wax.

My senior year, I tried out for writing. My friends Chris McCormick and Michelle Detorie did too. Now, I’d been writing for just as long as I’d been acting — and more regularly — so this was an even easier in. For the audition piece you could submit ten poems, three short stories, or a section from a novel-in-progress no longer than ten pages. I had all of those but I chose the third. I had the perfect piece–the climax of The Golden Band–where Cricket uses her powers to fulfill the prophecy and put the broken world back together. It had tension and emotion and poetry and everything. It was perfect. So we submitted these pieces with our application. On the day of the “audition” we attended a classroom lecture about writing, and then spoke to the judges after the class.

I knew I wasn’t going to get in after the first five minutes, when the lecturer wrote “SLICE OF LIFE” on the chalkboard. I have an issue with “slice of life” writing. Mainly, I hate it. I never liked reading books where the protagonist is sitting on the front steps contemplating suicide because she’s just started her period and her parents are getting divorced. That’s not my life. My parents have been married my entire existence. They travel the world and have hotels full of people wave goodbye to them with white cloth napkins. They make friends with strangers on airplanes and get invited to weddings at the Vatican. They’ve always brought home trinkets and stories of magic and wonder to go with them. We lived in a giant brick house on a lake that my friends still visit in their dreams. We had wonderful adventures there. This was my life. No matter how you sliced it, it didn’t have depressing crap crawling under the surface like maggots. And even if it did, I wouldn’t tell stories about stuff like that. Telling stories about horrible things just makes horrible things immortal. You tell stories about wonderful things. That’s just the way of the world.

Unfortunately, it’s not the way of Governor’s School. I suffered through the class and waited my turn to finally sit with the judges. It wasn’t much of a conversation. They flipped through the pages of my manuscript, looked down their noses at me and asked, “Is this indicative of all you write?”

“Yes,” was all I had to say. Because it was the truth. And if they didn’t want that, then they didn’t want me.

That night, Michelle called me on the phone–which was a surprise, because we hadn’t really talked that much before. She was so scared about what had happened that day. She just knew she wouldn’t be getting in, and she begged me to give her my acceptance when it came. I calmed her down and told her to be patient. The letters hadn’t even been mailed yet. She could still get in.

Chris and Michelle both ended up getting accepted. I lit a candle and burned my rejection letter from Dr. Virginia Uldrick to ashes in the backyard. The family went to Greece that summer.

Yesterday, I received texts from both the Fairy GodBoyfriend and Leanna Hieber with pictures of John Skipp’s Werewolves and Shape Shifters anthology — it’s on tables at B&N all over the country, apparently (look for it!). As a gift, FGB purchased a copy for me. It was lying on the bed when I got home. It’s a gorgeous book, chunky and beautiful and heavy, with illustrations for every story. For a while I just petted it. (Pick it up at the bookstore. You’ll see what I mean.) And then I flipped it open.

There are thirty-five stories in the book, and I’m the last one. The anchor story to Angela Carter’s entre, right after Chuck Palahniuk and Neil Gaiman (talk about a dream come true). Skipp didn’t tell me what he’d written for my introduction, so it was a surprise when I got there.

“And so, at last, we come to the end of our journey, returning to the woods where it all began. And it is here, amongst the beasts and forest-songs, that I leave you in the lush and lovely company of Alethea Kontis’s ‘Sweetheart Come.’” Skipp goes on to explain a bit about how he fell in love with the story and stole it straight from the Nick Cave anthology Up Jumped the Devil (with permission, of course). “I can think of no better, more beautiful way to bring this book to a close.” And then my first line after that simply bites with clever juxtaposition: “Sasha was fourteen when the villagers threw her to the wolves.”

I couldn’t help myself. I started reading. I read about what happened to Sasha, and her daughter, and her daughter’s daughter, and the birth of the great-great grandson whose adventures begin this particular legend. From his strange and magical family he learned how to tell the difference between good mushrooms and bad, how to play a variety of instruments (but he was best at the violin), and how to sing the sun down from the sky. It is the same farewell song every night, and it is included right there in the story.

Now, these are not lyrics from “Sweetheart Come” — Doug and Kyle were very specific that we be inspired by Nick Cave but not infringe on copyright in any way, shape or form. If you’re familiar with the song, just think of it as a soundtrack to this story. There are several violin solos in the song — close your eyes and you’ll see Bane, playing with all his heart. All the songs published in this story, all the poetry, they are mine. And the minute I read over that first poem, my eyes filled with tears. This is me. Songs and magic and tales told of adventures long ago. These are all mine. This is who I am.

Yes, Virginia. This is indicative of all I write. Sorry it wasn’t your cup of tea.

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Happy Hobbit Day!

On this day, September 21, in the year 1937, J. R. R. Tolkien celebrated the release of The Hobbit, or There and Back Again.

In celebration of this glorious, gorgeous day. I will run around barefoot. For celebration on the intarwebs, I bestow upon you one of my favorite clips this year — The Fellowship of the Vuvuzela.

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When Secret Codes are USELESS

Normally, secret codes are awesome and exceptionally useful.My family has used codes forever. I have friends from middle school who still have their membership ID cards from all the secret clubs I invented…that I can’t tell you about, because they’re all SECRET.

You had some too. I know you did. Maybe you still do. Don’t tell me. It’s okay.

My parents have a secret code between them that they use at parties. Like me, EVERYONE knows my dad. And like me, Dad is horrible with remembering names sometimes. If Dad remembers the person, he’ll go up and say, “Hi, Daniel! You remember my wife, Marcy?” If Dad does not remember the name of the person, he’ll simply go up and say hello. This is the cue for Mom to walk up and say, “George is so rude. Hello, I’m Marcy. And you are…?”

It’s a brilliant strategy. Feel free to adopt it. You’re welcome.

People have all sorts of secret codes with their friends. And lovers. And agents.Some are spoken. Some are not. Some are there to let the other person know there’s an intruder in your house. Some are there to let the other person know if you’re being forced to do something against your will. Some are there to protect the innocent. Some are there to not bring attention to the guilty.

And then social networking comes along, where people start coming up with all sorts of secret codes so that they can communicate with their close circle of friends in public without having to write a mass email in which you inevitably forget someone. I have one of these codes. I instituted it almost two years ago, when a certain event was set in motion. If and when I was ever notified that said certain event ever came to fruition, I was going to post a particular word on Facebook and Twitter: UNICORN.

I posted the word this morning. Apart from a few humorous comments on Facebook, no one has said a thing. NO ONE. I called  Gypsy this morning.

Princess: Did you see my tweet this morning?
Gypsy: Um…I think so…
Princess: The one that said “unicorn?”
Gypsy: Oh, right. Yeah, I did.
Princess: Do you remember what that means?
Gypsy: Hold on. I’m thinking. “Unicorn” means something to B…
Princess: No, not that one.
Gypsy: The hippie and I have our own meaning for it…
Princess: *sigh* Obviously not that. MY unicorn. The original one. Before yours, before B’s. You really don’t remember?
Gypsy: Nope. Sorry, hon.

You know, I miss the days without smart phones and Google and social networking. I miss the days of secret club ID cards laminated in clear shelf paper. I miss the days when alphabetizing the periodic table to pass secret notes in class was a cool thing. I miss picking blackberries and lying in a field for hours looking for four-leaf clovers. I miss when people weren’t so distracted by a sensory-overloaded ADD world so much that they actually remembered things.

It’s a cool, crisp day today. I’m going to go find a field to run barefoot in. If any of you chuckleheads end up remembering why UNICORN is important, give me a call.

Until then, your ID card is officially revoked!!! :-p

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Limited Edition Princess

I have been notified that Zero Gravity, one of the anthologies I’m in this year from Pill Hill Press, has been selected to be released as one of their Limited Edition Hardcovers.

These Limited Editions are only available from the Pill Hill website (click here). They are available through December 31st, 2010. Zero Gravity will be available in late September, and is only $19.99.

That’s right! For only a few bucks more than the paperback, you can get a hardcover! So why wouldn’t you? Click on over and order yours now!

This thrilling collection features thirteen fantastic adventures set in the cold vacuum of space. Read about rogues, scoundrels, aliens, robots, heroes, junkers and priests as you explore the rich and creative diversity of the following stories:

Junker’s Fancy By Rosemary Jones, Leech Run  By Scott W. Baker, A Space Romance By Paul A. Freeman, Hawking’s Caution By Mark Rivett, Parhelion  By David Schembri, To Stand Among Kings By Kenneth Mark Hoover, The Unicorn Tree  By Alethea Kontis, The Beacon of Hope By Gregory L Norris, Tangwen’s Last Heist By C.B. Calsing, The Stand-Ins By Gef Fox, Glacier Castle  By Will Morton, Rescue By Margaret Karmazin, At One Stride Comes the Dark  By Murray Leeder.

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If I Could Wave My Magic Wand

1990. Ninth grade. Casey and I were in the midst of our writing heyday. We were churning out poetry and short stories by the truckload–I had a novel in the works, and between us (and Margo and Chris) we had a collaborative novel that was already a legend among our set. We were romantic young teens who bought matching silver rings and quoted Rudyard Kipling and wished on stars while lying on the trampoline after marathon sessions of Super Mario and pizza.

It was Casey who heard the song — she always listened to music while she read and I never could, so she was always a little more well-versed in music than I. Plus, she was one of those people who paid attention to the lyrics the first time around; I preferred to let the music grab me first and memorized the words later. But what a memory I had. If it had been me who had heard the song, perhaps the band who sang it wouldn’t have remained anonymous for so long.

But anonymous they were, and for years after that we wrote the quote on every notebook we had, because it was beautiful and everything we were. “I am made from the dust of the stars, and the oceans flow in my veins. –Unknown” The song never played again on any radio station I listened to.

Not until my senior year of high school — I was in the car with my boyfriend at the time–an artist and our DM–and his friend John–whom I remember mostly for being very tall and almost albino in coloring. John was driving, so we were listening to John’s music. Well, I was listening, because I was in the back seat. The boys were talking. So when I screamed, John almost drove off the road.

“OH MY GOD, IT’S THE SONG!!! WHAT SONG IS THIS?!?!?”

It was “Presto,” he told me when he regained control of the vehicle. “By Rush.” You can imagine my giddiness. I don’t remember if I called Casey first or went to buy the cassette tape. It had a cute little rabbit in a hat on it.

I had tons of friends who were Rush fans–I remember seeing the tour shirts all the time in high school, but I never put two and two together. I didn’t listen to any other song on the cassette but that one, nor did I purchase any other albums. Why would I? This was our song. For me, Rush was a one-hit wonder. And that was that.

In the past decade I’ve had boyfriends and friends–Kevin J. Anderson and Matthew S. Rotundo in particular–who were/are huge Rush fans (though admittedly I acquired the discography and learned the songs for the boyfriends). And I really loved the music. I realized that I have been a Rush fan all this time; I just didn’t know it. One ex-boyfriend worked lights for the 30th anniversary tour and offered me a ticket, but I went to see Soteria in Charleston instead. The next time they were to open their tour in Nashville, the amphitheater shut down. Forever.

Last night, the Fairy GodBoyfriend took me to my very first Rush concert. He’s been attending their concerts for thirty years himself. Like Casey, he’s one of those lyrics-hounds who can memorize the words the first time he hears something, so he appreciated my particular fondness for the band. We have similar taste in the albums and even have personal issues with some of the same songs. He had heard my story about “Presto” and informed me–from first-hand knowledge and Google to back up any faulty memories–that Rush never played “Presto” live. They hadn’t even played it live during the Presto tour.

My hat goes off to him. He knew the Time Machine Tour set list for months and never breathed a word. We had a great laugh when they played “Time Stands Still” for the second song–both of us have dated someone who wanted to sleep with Aimee Mann far more than us–and then he watched my face light up like Christmas morning. Three notes, and “If I could wave my magic wand…,” and I screamed louder than I did that day I almost crashed John’s car.

“I thought you said they never played ‘Presto’!” I said to FGB later, between songs.

“They haven’t until now,” he replied.

So that’s the reason — the reason that the universe got in the way of my seeing Rush before now. They hadn’t played “Presto” before now. By all accounts, this was one of their weakest set lists in the band’s touring history, but it was my first time and they played my favorite song, so to me, it was perfect. FGB even bought me a t-shirt.

It would only have been better had Casey been there with me to hear our song. Instead, I clutched my hands to my chest and closed my eyes and wished on a star for her. If I’d had a magic wand–a proper one–I would have made it happen.

(Dear Santa: for Christmas, I would like a magic wand. That is all. Thank you. And thank you for my song.)

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I went to bed sad last night.

Last night, after…gosh, what, a couple of years of putting it off? I finally watched the last few David Tennant episodes of Doctor Who.

Part of me has just been too darned busy to catch up with every series on the planet…and part of me has just been reluctant to see Tennant go. I watched more Star Trek TNG than Dr. Who during the Baker era, so I didn’t fall in love with the series until the Eccleston re-invisioning. But I didn’t fall in love with a Doctor until Tennant. He had me at the “Who am I?” monologue. (“Ooh, that was rude. Is that who I am now? Am I rude?)

You could say it was love at first sight.

Now, don’t go putting words in my mouth and saying I don’t have any faith in Matt Smith. I think he’ll do just fine. (And after watching the first episode of his so far, he has.) I have ULTIMATE faith in Stephen Moffat. I expect amazing things from him, and I’m sure I won’t be disappointed.

What I was disappointed in, however, was Davies’s long, drawn-out, melodramatic, HORRIBLE ending of Tennant’s Doctor.It was worse than the ten separate endings of Return of the King (which I actually don’t mind so much). I was so ready for the excruciating thing to be over that I didn’t even shed a tear when he departed this world — and I bawled my eyes out at the last two season enders, despite the fact that I don’t believe Tennant & Piper had the same chemistry as Piper & Eccleston. It was depressing on top of depressing that he had to do it all alone, and I HATED his last line. Hated it. It was sad and pathetic after all the previous “Touched By an Angel”-esque unabashed emotion-bashing.

It would have been the perfect line had Tennant gone out with a bang, as he should have. As he deserved to.

And I have no idea what sort of spaghetti mish-mash Davies was trying to pull with the plot. The Fairy GodBoyfriend, a long-time Whovian with a Seal of Rassilon tattoo, made me watch “The Five Doctors” this morning in an effort to explain exactly who Rassilon was and why he would have never been president of Gallifrey.And we’re not even going to talk about the scientific stupidity of having a planet three times the size of Earth magically show up at our front door. Even I remember enough physics to laugh openly and yell at the screen.

So yes, I went to bed sad last night. They never should have done the year of special episodes (barring the appearance of the awesome Lady Christina de Souza, of whom I desire an action figure, if one exists). I want to punch Davies in the nose. Or at least apologize to Tennant. It was a shame.

But the Doctor lives on, as he does, and in good hands. And thank goodness.

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PSA: Women’s Health

Mom and I had a nice long talk the other day. She owed it to me…as she had just experienced a strange anomaly that had her in the hospital for a few days. It was something to do with her heart.

I hate hearing about this afterward — there’s really no good time to hear something like this. (Thank goodness for Aunt Theda, to whom we tell everything.) I understand why, of course — no one actually knew what was wrong. They still don’t. In fact, the best heart doctor in the city ran every test in the book on Mom and informed her that she was exceptionally healthy and there was nothing wrong with her. They can only assume it was a normal atrial flutter combined with dehydration, not enough food, and dancing for two hours at her dance class. (Does Mom sound like anyone you know? LOL)

She knows I am a glutton for details — especially about things I really don’t want to experience for myself — so she explained everything she felt that day. Especially the jaw pain. I had no idea that jaw pain was one of the major symptoms of a heart attack, especially in women. So  did some research.

We’re all so used to seeing the trademarked left-arm-grab in movies, a lot of folks don’t know about other symptoms of heart attack. Many women who have heart attacks don’t survive BECAUSE they have no idea that what they’re feeling is a heart attack.

Heart Attack Symptoms Other Than the Ones You See in Movies:
1.) Jaw pain (like lock jaw) or back pain
2.) Vomiting
3.) Shortness of breath
4.) Indigestion, or feeling like you’ve swallowed too much food without chewing it well enough

According to snopes.com, 40% of female heart attack victims feel no chest pain at all. Conversely, men can also exhibit the above symptoms. Listen to your body, people. I care about you — you should care about you too. Go directly to the hospital. Do not pass go.

And for heaven’s sake, don’t make your husband change first because he looks like a slob. Sheesh, Mom! *sigh*

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20 Not-So-Great Things About Dating a Writer

There’s a popular blog post being linked to discussing 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer. It’s all very peachy and SARKy and amusing and true. I would print it out and seal it with a kiss and give it to the Fairy GodBoyfriend in half a heartbeat.

but…

The other half of that heartbeat knows the dark side of those twenty items. That half knows what lies beneath because I, too, have dated a writer. Couple of them. One time, it didn’t turn out so well. One time is all it takes to make you jaded.

So ladies, don’t say you haven’t been warned. (Men, you are welcome to switch pronouns.)

  1. Writers will romance you with words. He has also romanced twenty other woman around the globe (thanks to the internet) with very similar words. He’s done character studies and knows exactly what to say to make you 100% sure he is your soulmate. Like his fiction, little of it is true. But he got into your pants now, didn’t he?
  2. Writers will write about you. He will use your name and the name of anyone else you know that you ever thought of having as a main character. He will also cut and paste into his manuscript, word for word, your suggestions for fixing his short story.
  3. Writers will take you to interesting events. He will then use your influence and connections to be introduced to all of your writer friends and publishers, all of whom he will later ask for favors.
  4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. So don’t be surprised when you need to send cash for a plane ticket. Or a hotel room. Or a divorce settlement. Or an incident with bed bugs. Or his book launch party. Or his mortgage. Or to cover a bank overdraft. Or when he got mugged. Or after the bus accident. Or the vacation with his other girlfriend. Those pesky publishers never do pay on time.
  5. Writers will acknowledge and dedicate things to you. Because you should get SOMETHING for all you’ve done.Then do the math and realize that book he dedicated to his new girlfriend had its manuscript turned into the publisher while you were still dating.
  6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things. There’s a reason for everything–even the things that don’t quite feel right–and it all makes sense. You will have no clue he’s cheated on you the whole time until a month after you break it off.
  7. Writers are smart. It’s an attractive trait. And when you find yourself alone and penniless you are oddly impressed that he got away with so much for so long.
  8. Writers are really passionate. Sociopaths are also really passionate.
  9. Writers can think through their feelings. The more control he has over his feelings, the more control he has over you.
  10. Writers enjoy their solitude. You have NO idea what he’s been doing all day while you were at work. None.
  11. Writers are creative. Boy, are they.
  12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. At least, they wear the hearts they know you’d like to see. On GAP sleeves. And he left his wallet at home. Would you mind…?
  13. Writers will teach you cool new words. Like “Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”
  14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. But don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to bed. He’s been up all night writing. To his other girlfriend. In Europe.
  15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you. Only he won’t. Not for less than $.05 a word.
  16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. So if he never gives you his phone number, it’s a big red flag. Also, be sure you write down all those email addresses he uses, so you know what aliases to block on Facebook later.
  17. Writers can work from anywhere. It’s all about tax evasion, darling. The farther away he is from you, the farther away he is from your country’s legal system.
  18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people. The most interesting ones, you will never meet.
  19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for. And if you give him access to your credit card he will buy gifts for you too. And his other girlfriends.
  20. Writers are sexy. By some accounts, so was Ted Bundy.
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Princess Alethea’s Magical Elixir

New reviews are up!

Title: The Immortals
Author: J.T. Ellison
EAN: 9780778327639

The cool thing about J.T Ellison is not that her Taylor Jackson novels could easily be converted into CSI: Nashville (and more well done, at that), it’s that she’s lived in a lot of the same places I’ve lived, so her novels always feel like they’re playing out right in my backyard. Anyone who has lived in or around Nashville, or in and around the Northern Virginia/DC area, will know that Ellison speaks from an intimate knowledge of the area. Because no matter how much researching an author does on the internet, he/she is never going to know things like how annoyingly small the spaces in the Tennessean parking lot are. (Read more…)

Title: Terrier
Author: Tamora Pierce
EAN: 9780375838163

Title: Bloodhound
Author: Tamora Pierce
EAN: 9780375838170

My first fictional true love was George Cooper, King of Thieves and consort of Lady Alanna of Trebond. So I had no problem at all sitting down to a couple of chunky books about Beka Cooper, George’s ancestor. Beka is from the wrong side of the tracks, but the right side of the law. Back in this day and age the Lord Provost’s men are called Dogs. Their trainees are called Puppies. Beka, more in thanks to her infamous stubbornness than her debilitating shyness, gets teamed with two of the best Dogs in Corus: Guardswoman Clara Goodwin and Guardsman Matthias Tunstall. (Read more…)

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