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Assassin Recall

The price of being a princess: a disturbing number of people took Fred’s letter seriously (including my mother!), so Fred posted this comment on my blog. Per request, I’ve recalled my flying monkey assassins.

*********************************

You see, Alethea?

I told you some people wouldn’t realize it was a joke. Now Kontisphile assassins are on the way to my house with piano wire and a taste for vengeance.

Maybe it wasn’t that funny – but YOU laughed and that’s all I cared about.

Love (or at least more than average fondness)

Fred

PS. Please call off the flying monkey assassins. They’re outside and I can’t hear the television. I’d shoo them off myself but I don’t want to miss a minute of this infomercial.

PPS (or is it PSS?)
Someone, somewhere just read that and really believes there are flying monkey assassins at my door. That’s absurd. Some people will believe anything. They’re just regular monkey assassins. Now Call Them Off!

-F-

(Seriously, she mentions our convention an embarrassing number of times and has only had good things to say about us. If you’ve read the book, you’ll see what I mean. If you get to come to our convention, stop by the con suite. We’ll be serving Deep Fried Monkey Assassin. –Fred)

24 Responses to “Assassin Recall”

  1. douglascohen Says:

    If I were to guess, I bet some people took it seriously because at the end you used the “distressed” emoticon.

  2. admin Says:

    TRUE!

    Not only was I a princess being attacked, I was a Damsel in Distress!

    Heavens. I feel like I need to apologize to everyone now. I promise to never ever play a nasty joke like this again…

  3. douglascohen Says:

    Nasty jokes are the best ones! 🙂

  4. douglascohen Says:

    If I were to guess, I bet some people took it seriously because at the end you used the “distressed” emoticon.

  5. admin Says:

    TRUE!

    Not only was I a princess being attacked, I was a Damsel in Distress!

    Heavens. I feel like I need to apologize to everyone now. I promise to never ever play a nasty joke like this again…

  6. douglascohen Says:

    Nasty jokes are the best ones! 🙂

  7. vincam Says:

    FWIW, some of us, knowing Fred, knew better. I thought his note was a scream. And he’s right. Andre Norton might have enjoyed Hypericon. She was a very cool lady.

  8. lrainey Says:

    I thought it was funny…but then I know you are strong with the deadpan humor…

  9. nick_kaufmann Says:

    I’m having trouble believing anyone thought that letter was for real!

  10. lordofallfools Says:

    I don’t know who this flying monkey person is; and me and my fratelli, we don’t use piano wire. What, are we going to play you Moonlight Sonata as we break your kneecaps?

    Old. School. Hurt. That’s what I’m about. Monkeys, piano wire…what is this some sort of whack-a-doo chimpanzee conservatory? Please. Give me a baseball bat and an auger. Maybe a shovel, in case Pino gets overzealous.

    Badda-bing. Done. ‘S’all I’m saying.

  11. admin Says:

    I do love me a man with a Louisville Slugger.
    *sigh*

  12. vincam Says:

    FWIW, some of us, knowing Fred, knew better. I thought his note was a scream. And he’s right. Andre Norton might have enjoyed Hypericon. She was a very cool lady.

  13. lrainey Says:

    I thought it was funny…but then I know you are strong with the deadpan humor…

  14. nick_kaufmann Says:

    I’m having trouble believing anyone thought that letter was for real!

  15. lordofallfools Says:

    I don’t know who this flying monkey person is; and me and my fratelli, we don’t use piano wire. What, are we going to play you Moonlight Sonata as we break your kneecaps?

    Old. School. Hurt. That’s what I’m about. Monkeys, piano wire…what is this some sort of whack-a-doo chimpanzee conservatory? Please. Give me a baseball bat and an auger. Maybe a shovel, in case Pino gets overzealous.

    Badda-bing. Done. ‘S’all I’m saying.

  16. admin Says:

    I do love me a man with a Louisville Slugger.
    *sigh*

  17. klingonguy Says:

    Hey, since you’ve recalled those flying monkeys, and you’re not going to get your deposit back on them anyway (you did read the fine print before you opened the box, I hope), would you mind sending them on to me in Denver in care of the Hyatt Regency? I’m sure I can find a use for them next week. Thanks!

  18. admin Says:

    I’ll bring them with me. Southwest is pretty lax about their carryons.

    (and yay! see you next week!)

  19. klingonguy Says:

    Ack! I’d managed to forget you’re coming to Denvention! Yay!

    Come to my launch party on Wednesday night, and Valerie will braid your hair again (or not).

  20. klingonguy Says:

    Hey, since you’ve recalled those flying monkeys, and you’re not going to get your deposit back on them anyway (you did read the fine print before you opened the box, I hope), would you mind sending them on to me in Denver in care of the Hyatt Regency? I’m sure I can find a use for them next week. Thanks!

  21. admin Says:

    I’ll bring them with me. Southwest is pretty lax about their carryons.

    (and yay! see you next week!)

  22. klingonguy Says:

    Ack! I’d managed to forget you’re coming to Denvention! Yay!

    Come to my launch party on Wednesday night, and Valerie will braid your hair again (or not).

  23. aliettedb Says:

    I’d assumed it was a funny letter (but the monkey assassins are too good to be recalled 🙂 )

  24. aliettedb Says:

    I’d assumed it was a funny letter (but the monkey assassins are too good to be recalled 🙂 )

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